08.28.07
Many apathetic apologies
Dear friends,
I regret to inform you that I have been without Internet access for several weeks. I further regret to inform you that while I am attempting to get it, I have been too nauseated to care much.
To be more accurate, I go from not caring at all, to really caring, to crying about the fact that I can’t get it together enough to get Internet access, and then back to sleeping carelessly.
The good news: I am now in week nine, which means all these annoying habits my baby is creating should come to an end, and I already begin see my symptoms slowing down.
08.03.07
Actually, I also love Matthew Henry
Note, Many deceive themselves into a good opinion of their state by a partial reformation. They think they are as good as they should be, because, in some one particular instance, they are not so bad as they have been, as if the correcting of one fault would atone for their persisting in all the rest.
Matthew Henry’s Commentary. Hendrickson, p178 c 2
Section on Judges 17:7-13
08.02.07
Grace to the Ungracious
Every day, as part of my joyful morning ritual, I observe children behaving in completely irrational and ballistic ways. Sometimes these overreactions are caused by actual (though often imagined) trauma to their physical being from another child. The most entertaining and frustrating are those high pitched shrieks that jump off of the decibel chart. These are always baseless.
Today, a relatively mellow day featuring only 11 sweets, I was privileged to observe this phenomena twice. The first was over a young boy being asked to pick up his snack after he was done.
To many of us this may seem an unreasonably responsible action. To Mr. Independent-Clingyness it was far beyond the realms of behavior he deemed worthy of his attention. Consequently he got my attention with a beautiful display, assaulting not only my auricular nerves, but providing stunning visuals by using all four limbs to cause wood chips to fly in every direction.
When I see these behaviors- A little girl screaming over a hair band that she has thrown at me twice, a small boy losing his self control over a shoe not being on- I reflect.
How often do I do this internally? I am an essentially selfish being. I covet, repent and wrestle with contentment. I pity myself, repent, and wrestle with the power and grace of redemption. I treat my husband rudely ( in word or deed or thought), repent, and wrestle with kindness.
My mother told me to give these children grace, because I am the only one who will. I repent, and wrestle with graciousness and love.
