10.24.07
Pumpkins Pumpkins Everywhere
It appears to me that fall has fallen. On its face. Yesterday’s 70 degree weather was insupportable in my book. I felt hot and sticky. I felt betrayed by this most favorite of seasons. I had planned my baby’s life around it. Autumn could have afforded me a small recompense by being the one predictable in my myriad of varying variables.
Last week we attended a fantastic conference, where I learned much that I wanted to regurgitate here. Instead I got sick….my first non-pregnancy illness in several months. I still regurgitated….just not on the page.
This week I am playing mother by watching my 4 year old cousin-in-law. I begin to wonder how anyone can do it. The never ending questions I can handle. The open defiance? Not on my turf. I now understand how I was able to lure my mother into arguments when I was 4. I also understand perpetual lateness….though I am determined to never be like that.
Today’s rain is small penance. It is still 58 degrees. Anything past October that doesn’t require the cute coat I bought (referred to as my 19th century pregnancy frock by my mother) is tragedy. I don’t even crave egg nog and cider in this kind of weather. I don’t even have to turn my heater on! Tonight my husband is going to want soup when I am in a Taco salad mood. Maybe I will make taco soup. If I can even get cilantro in this ridiculous weather.
10.15.07
Tea and Thessalonians
Hymn 535 in the Trinity Hymnal…
This morning I savor a blend of fantastic Black Tea (that Lauren probably gave me, so I cannot remember what it is) mixed with a Peach Rooibos.
Reading verses 2 of 1 Thessalonians 1 convicts me more than I would like to admit. Paul says, “We give thanks to God always for all of you, constantly mentioning you in our prayers.” (ESV)
Matthew Henry applies,
God is the object of all religious worship, of prayer and praise. And thanksgiving to God is a great duty, to be performed always or constantly; even when we do not actually give thanks to God by our words, we should have a grateful sense of God’s goodness upon our minds. Thanksgiving should be often repeated; and not only should we be thankful for the favours we ourselves receive, but for the benefits bestowed on others also, upon our fellow-creatures and fellow-christians. The apostle gave thanks not only for those who were his most intimate friends, or most eminently favoured of God, but for them all.
I wish that I could at least skim past the part about using our words and focus on having a grateful mind-set as I go through the day. Yet I tend to not even verbalize thanks.
It is as if my soul does not have the capacity to realize how much I owe, how little I deserve, and how abundantly I am blessed. Of course it doesn’t, without the work of the Holy Spirit.
May the Lord give me grace and discipline to cultivate this ”great duty” as I go through my day!
10.10.07
Well Well Well
If at some obscure point in history, someone would have pointed out to me that not only would I be a miserable human being, selfish and overcome by my sinful emotions, perhaps, if the Lord hadn’t providentially placed me among all these people who taught me His goodness, I would have despaired of living.
The glorious truths of His providence, goodness and utter worthiness reach toward me, begging me to take them, rest, even snuggle into them. Recklessly, I ignore their sometimes gentle pleas, waiting for the desperation that makes them obstacles that I cannot avoid with my anger and frustration.
I fear I will wait longer to observe the destruction increase. I know it is pride, disguised as tiredness. In fact, my pride disguises itself masterfully with costumes of such variance that even I hardly recognize it.
This realization begins to soften me as I hope to disregard my murky mental surroundings, and cling to the Saviour for His Grace and Patience.
