11.10.09
I guess, I forgot.
Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ… - Philippians 1:27
Somehow, amidst the chaotic bliss of wifedom, motherhood, pregnancy, and dishes, I got waylaid. I began thinking of personal holiness only in terms of what I listened to, watched, and read.
My sins of laziness, cheerlessness, and selfishness didn’t seem to interfere with my care in these other areas, and I thought I was doing, well, okay. Then, the Lord graciously intervened in a few forms.
It is shocking to me how I cannot see sin where it is plainly to be seen. Anything can be justified under the auspice of logic. Instead of reasoning from scripture and the cross, I was reasoning from my own limited, emotional, hormonal (did I mention pregnancy???) mind. How terrible a pattern this has become! J.C. Ryle aptly remarked,
…men try to cheat themselves into the belief that sin is not quite so sinful as God says it is, and that they are not so bad as they really are.
I have been reminded that I can honor the Lord first in my thoughts, words and actions. These areas are woefully untended in my own life. Thankfully, there is an antidote! Once again, Bishop Ryle in his work Holiness encourages me,
We must sit down humbly in the presence of God, look the whole subject in the face, examine clearly what the Lord Jesus calls sin, and what the Lord Jesus calls “doing His will.”…Once let us see that sin is far viler, and far nearer to us, and sticks more closely to us than we supposed, and we shall be led, I trust and believe, to get nearer to Christ. Once drawn nearer to Christ, we shall drink more deeply out of his fulness, and learn more thoroughly to “live the life of faith” in Him…
I trust that the Lord, through his Holy Spirit will continue to show me my own sin in my daily actions and attitudes.
06.28.09
My Acceptable Act of Worship
A lovely young lady and I have been going through The Excellent Wife, by Martha Peace. While we often disagree with some of her scripture usage to support her points, today’s chapter not only brought zero holdbacks, but bombarded us with several convicting points. The first pertained to idols, and the second to deliberation.
She pointed out that if a desire becomes so important to us that any interference causes us to sin with anxiety or frustration, we have made an idol, because we are no longer concerned with the true honor of God, but rather whatever we are pedestalizing (is that a word?). For me this occurs when I am ill. I become angry that I cannot accomplish my goals, instead of being thankful for the myriad of blessings I have. I didn’t really think about the fact that if someone could read my mind, it would be communicating that the most important thing to me is my agenda.
A notable thing that humbled me was her point that time-use reveals what I am worshipping. This is obviously not quantitative, or it could be said that I worship changing diapers, or doing laundry, or keeping my floors clean. Rather I was convicted about the complete lack recently of purposing to honor God. I have been haphazard in my spiritual life. Deliberate during my times of devotion, but not extending that devotion through my day. The Lord has been convicting me of the choices I have been (or not been) making.
May the Lord help me to be deliberate and thoughful as I seek to live a life that makes an effort to worship Him.
12.11.08
Prayer…
Once again, Jonathan helps me realize why I desire to persist. Not because of any inherent quality in my self, but rather because of the Holy Spirit’s continuous grace.
The true spirit of prayer is no other than God’s own spirit dwelling in the hearts of the saints. And as this spirit comes from God, so doth it naturally tend to God in holy breathings and pantings. It naturally leads to God to converse with Him by prayer.
Jonathan Edwards, Hypocrites Deficient in the Duty of Prayer
11.25.08
I give to you, and you give to me…
Yesterday a single mother spoke to me about her priorities concerning marriage. She wanted to make sure she owned her own home and had her career established before taking the leap. Two things struck me about this conversation.
She snidely remarked on the dependency- how much she hears ” I have to ask my husband “. I pointed out that many people overhear my husband informing people that he will talk to me before letting them know something. If I love Nate, perhaps I want to put him first. Don’t people realize that if my husband is out working all day for me, and I am home (and healthy), it is common decency to create a nice atmosphere for him to come to? Logic demands this give and take.
Fear of divorce heavily weighed in as her second concern. She has seen this happen over and over, usually leaving the woman with nothing. I have never realized what a wonderful gift from God it is to never be aware of divorce as a future reality. My only fears are about Nate dying!
I am left wondering why she even wants to get married.
11.05.08
Light at the end of the tunnel…
Now that the elections are over, and that my baby is officially 7 months old, I can begin to think about blogging again. I think that seven months recovery time is phenomenal for someone who went from teaching piano to children, planning menus, reading a lot, shopping a lot, wasting time – a lot, to a super charged Mom who purees peas, carrots and other such yummy vegetables, checks her baby’s skin obsessively for rashes and chicken pox, and wonders where her brain went.
I am hoping that I will still be able to write in a readable way. So watch out, November!
03.10.08
Home Skooled
This article from the San Francisco Chronicler explains an appellate court’s decision concerning the rights of parents over the education of their children. California decided (within the application of a compulsory education law, passed in the 50’s) that a parent must have teaching credentials to home-school. This has shocked the home-school world, as well as created minor paranoia (I heard one pastor berating the state for its hate of the family). I felt that Al Mohler had a balanced treatment of the issue here (refer to his March 7th blog).
What bothers me about these regulations was the state’s governing what determines a good education. But then I read where the director of the Childrens’ Law Center in Los Angeles (in the article) said that their
“chief concern was not the quality of the children’s education, but their “being in a place daily where they would be observed by people who had a duty to ensure their ongoing safety.”
I suppose this is a relief in one sense. In my three years at a community college (one as a remedial reading teacher) I have been discouraged with the lack of education in many government school graduates.
However, if parents do not possess the moral “duty to ensure” their own child’s “ongoing safety”, how can we expect paid teachers to take this duty seriously toward every child in their classroom?
In 1647, when the Old Deluder Act was passed, it was made a requirement for the town to offer (taxed) education, but not require it. Ironically, their intention was to help keep the scriptures accessible, since Satan attempts to keep Scripture from men. I think the State of California is doing an adequate job now.
Washington State has more relaxed regulations. I am covered because I have had at least 45 college level credit hours. Once my child is 8, I do have to provide a declaration of intent to my local school district every year, as well as comply with yearly assessment tests. Thankfully, the Washington State Office of the Superintendent of Education still deems home based instruction an educational right. Should the law change, I figure I have 8 years to get my teaching certification in 
.
02.22.08
Update on the Patriarch…
The Hospital is not a fun place. Of course, with my family, any location can be transformed from the dullest of dull to the brightest of bright. We have spent the last several days there in ICU with my Grandfather, who had several small strokes, and now has a subdural hematoma.
All the Aunts are in, as well as half the cousins, which keeps the dynamics interesting.
Grandfather has been ‘with it’ enough to inform the nurse that he wants to die and that there is a sword in his cane. She had to confirm both with the family. To the first she awkwardly left the room, and the the second she requested the we sign out the saber hiding walking stick…which we did.
He has been talking about ‘giving up the Ghost’. I told him he has to meet this baby, and that the Lord has to take the ghost away. We will see. His stats looked good, but people don’t often talk about dying unless they are going to.
We await the results of the latest CAT scan. Hopefully the Neurologists decision to cancel brain surgery yesterday was wise.
Fun Fun Fun. I am going to nap now.
02.08.08
We got Blowed Up (Almost)
Every time we try to sell a Vehicle, it stops running. At this point we have put $550 dollars into a Jeep that we don’t want to sell, but that we have to in order to buy a truck so that my Handsome man can take side jobs (we now own our own business).
This particular Jeep has long been a source of peace and contentment. Its Four-wheel drive capabilities and general reliability made it a mainstay in our life.
Several months ago a friend put in a new fuel pump for us (we weren’t sure this was the problem at the time, but accepted His generosity). The Cherokee drove along swimmingly until this last week, when it wouldn’t stay started.
We took it to a mechanic, along with the original fuel pump (which, it turns out, works fabulously) to get fixed. When the mechanic called Nate, he was stunned. Our friend tripped some wiring, and the fact that the fuel line hadn’t sparked and exploded was a miracle.
Little did I know that while I prayed for my husband’s safety throughout the day, he commuted in a time bomb! How often the Lord preserves us, and in such a multitude of ways!
In my reading I am in Job. Some verses in Chapter 4 caught my attention:
” As for me, I would seek God, and to God would I commit my cause, who does great things and unsearchable, marvelous things without number:”
I understand that preservation of life is not an end all, but at this point in our lives, I am thankful God sees fit to preserve the life of my husband.
02.05.08
Keeping My Nose Clean, and not Bombing the IRS
The middle of the sixth day of my sinus infection has passed without event. This week has been replete with tea drinking, nasal passage cleaning, steaming and eucalyptus oil. Now I have the hacking cough that inadvertently engages my vocal chords.
Tonight’s Goal: only get up once, and avoid hallucinogenic mimicking dreams (we know that can’t be the cause for my night-time trips…I am pregnant…most cough drops are prohibited!).
After doing our taxes, and finding that we owe dear old Uncle IRS, I am under the firm conviction that Ron Paul would take the lead in the Republican primary if the public were required to have their taxes done before Super Tuesday. I am a believer.
Who doesn’t love being ground to a pulp by this ravaging government entity? The existence of this bureau also contributes to my growing theory that Abraham Lincoln is a candidate for one of the worst presidents of the United States. Or perhaps not so united, in his case. It was under his brilliant career in 1862 that congress passed an income tax. You can read all about it at their own website.
Did I mention that the gentleman I spoke to at the IRS ( I wanted some clarification before I cheerfully sent off our check) treated me like I was an idiot, before appraising me of the fact that only half of America pays income taxes. I wanted to ask two things:
1) Does he mean half of the actual citizenry?
2) Is he inciting me to tax aversion? If it weren’t for some New Testament passages, I’d accept.
12.31.07
And We Go Into Extra Innings…
An Hour and a half until the new year. A new year that we begin prayerfully and with debt.
Our car decided to assert its prerogative to cease functioning effectively this weekend. Rather, the carburetor did. I know it is a shock that people still drive carbureted cars, but hey, it was cheap. It is 19 years old, after all.
Having no ready cash, we turn to the financial institutions who tempt us with low interest rates to spend more. Of course, to get the zero percent, it has to be brand-spankin’ new. Our sanity doesn’t flee that far, fortunately. The vehicle we have chosen barely qualified because of its age and mileage (its hardly and elephant at 8 years…in fact, to us, it is another infant we will have to treasure…).
We will finalize everything on Wednesday. Is buyer’s remorse defined by being after the fact?
