02.22.08
Update on the Patriarch…
The Hospital is not a fun place. Of course, with my family, any location can be transformed from the dullest of dull to the brightest of bright. We have spent the last several days there in ICU with my Grandfather, who had several small strokes, and now has a subdural hematoma.
All the Aunts are in, as well as half the cousins, which keeps the dynamics interesting.
Grandfather has been ‘with it’ enough to inform the nurse that he wants to die and that there is a sword in his cane. She had to confirm both with the family. To the first she awkwardly left the room, and the the second she requested the we sign out the saber hiding walking stick…which we did.
He has been talking about ‘giving up the Ghost’. I told him he has to meet this baby, and that the Lord has to take the ghost away. We will see. His stats looked good, but people don’t often talk about dying unless they are going to.
We await the results of the latest CAT scan. Hopefully the Neurologists decision to cancel brain surgery yesterday was wise.
Fun Fun Fun. I am going to nap now.
02.08.08
We got Blowed Up (Almost)
Every time we try to sell a Vehicle, it stops running. At this point we have put $550 dollars into a Jeep that we don’t want to sell, but that we have to in order to buy a truck so that my Handsome man can take side jobs (we now own our own business).
This particular Jeep has long been a source of peace and contentment. Its Four-wheel drive capabilities and general reliability made it a mainstay in our life.
Several months ago a friend put in a new fuel pump for us (we weren’t sure this was the problem at the time, but accepted His generosity). The Cherokee drove along swimmingly until this last week, when it wouldn’t stay started.
We took it to a mechanic, along with the original fuel pump (which, it turns out, works fabulously) to get fixed. When the mechanic called Nate, he was stunned. Our friend tripped some wiring, and the fact that the fuel line hadn’t sparked and exploded was a miracle.
Little did I know that while I prayed for my husband’s safety throughout the day, he commuted in a time bomb! How often the Lord preserves us, and in such a multitude of ways!
In my reading I am in Job. Some verses in Chapter 4 caught my attention:
” As for me, I would seek God, and to God would I commit my cause, who does great things and unsearchable, marvelous things without number:”
I understand that preservation of life is not an end all, but at this point in our lives, I am thankful God sees fit to preserve the life of my husband.
02.05.08
Keeping My Nose Clean, and not Bombing the IRS
The middle of the sixth day of my sinus infection has passed without event. This week has been replete with tea drinking, nasal passage cleaning, steaming and eucalyptus oil. Now I have the hacking cough that inadvertently engages my vocal chords.
Tonight’s Goal: only get up once, and avoid hallucinogenic mimicking dreams (we know that can’t be the cause for my night-time trips…I am pregnant…most cough drops are prohibited!).
After doing our taxes, and finding that we owe dear old Uncle IRS, I am under the firm conviction that Ron Paul would take the lead in the Republican primary if the public were required to have their taxes done before Super Tuesday. I am a believer.
Who doesn’t love being ground to a pulp by this ravaging government entity? The existence of this bureau also contributes to my growing theory that Abraham Lincoln is a candidate for one of the worst presidents of the United States. Or perhaps not so united, in his case. It was under his brilliant career in 1862 that congress passed an income tax. You can read all about it at their own website.
Did I mention that the gentleman I spoke to at the IRS ( I wanted some clarification before I cheerfully sent off our check) treated me like I was an idiot, before appraising me of the fact that only half of America pays income taxes. I wanted to ask two things:
1) Does he mean half of the actual citizenry?
2) Is he inciting me to tax aversion? If it weren’t for some New Testament passages, I’d accept.
01.30.08
I keep on falling…
As we enter week thirty-two of this pregnancy, I begin to manifest symptoms I had hoped to conquer after the first trimester…excess fatigue, that lumbering feeling, and irrational anger.
Nathan has been coping very well with a wife who treats him abominably for an hour, and then purrs like a kitten in apology and adores him for six or seven. Until IT hits again. I am afraid that pretty soon he will stop acknowledging my apologies. Or stop coming home.
The Baby must be bulking up in there. Now when I turn over in bed, the groans are mere decibels short of a yell. There is a mug on the floor of my otherwise clean living room. I will not pick it up until I absolutely have too…probably when I see my first piano student pull in the driveway. Bending over is a joke. And it looks funny too. Did I mention that socks and shoes should be obliterated? Who can put out the effort to put them on? Maybe I should rethink the ‘pregnant during winter’ plan.
Well, those are my chief complaints for now.
Did I mention that I fell this morning in our driveway while running the recyclables out? I sat up, crossed legged, (in our wet driveway with cardboard all around) just in time for the recycle truck to come to our driveway, hoping that I looked like an unaffected bird watcher. Apparently the Waste Management dude didn’t buy it. He came over to see if I was alright. At which point (despite my throbbing rear and arm) I assured him I was, while giving my best “what are you talking about?” Look.
I imagine that seeing sweat-pant-clad (Nate’s…which I think might have been part of my problem) pregnant women tumbling about their driveway is a common enough occurrence for city employees. He graciously picked up all my cardboard mess, and even took my garbage can out. I just got my slippers back on..and walked…back to the house.
NOTE TO THE AUNTS: Don’t worry, I didn’t land on my tummy. All I got there was a scratch from the cardboard box that our recycled stuff is in (they haven’t gotten us a proper container yet). Just a couple of scratches on my hand and a bruise that isn’t showing yet….just feeling. Yuck.
12.31.07
And We Go Into Extra Innings…
An Hour and a half until the new year. A new year that we begin prayerfully and with debt.
Our car decided to assert its prerogative to cease functioning effectively this weekend. Rather, the carburetor did. I know it is a shock that people still drive carbureted cars, but hey, it was cheap. It is 19 years old, after all.
Having no ready cash, we turn to the financial institutions who tempt us with low interest rates to spend more. Of course, to get the zero percent, it has to be brand-spankin’ new. Our sanity doesn’t flee that far, fortunately. The vehicle we have chosen barely qualified because of its age and mileage (its hardly and elephant at 8 years…in fact, to us, it is another infant we will have to treasure…).
We will finalize everything on Wednesday. Is buyer’s remorse defined by being after the fact?
11.15.07
Baby Gabriel…
While I normally find ultrasound pictures bizarre, I decided that since I am bizarre, and since this is my own small sphere where I have complete control, I would share them. For those of you who do not think it bizarre.
We were able to go in on Monday. Nathan and Michael got to watch the screen where the baby was moving! It is pretty definitely a boy.
Here is the profile shot, procured after much pushing on the part of the technician. It appears our little one is stubborn. He didn’t roll over on his back for this shot until I got up and walked around. The thing under his chin is his arm across his face, reaching toward the camera.
This one is my favorite, because his teensy face is facing us. You can also see his arm up above his head.
So, for those of you into this sort of thing, here you go. If you are grossed out (Nate thinks he looks a bit area 51-ish)…Just don’t look.
Or, you can look at my video showing you the pictures here.
11.09.07
Tea and my SIN…
Since it is all over scripture, I couldn’t really pick a passage. Several different passages from this mornings reading convicted me.
In Psalm 139:23-24, the writer implores,
Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! ( ESV)
In regard to these thoughts, Kiel and Delitzsch point out:
He sees in them the danger which threatens himself, and prays God not to give him over to the judgment of self-delusion, but to lay bare the true state of his soul.
I take a long sip of my morning Black Blend and struggle with honesty. I decide to unload on all of you poor brethren.
I struggle with the sin of discontentment. Rather, I wallow in it. The beauties of contentment have often been referred to in this blog. I keep my copy of The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment by Jeremiah Burroughs conveniently located around the house. Every passage seems to drip with exhorting conviction. He speaks of contentment in terms of freedom when I only think in terms of obligation. He pleads,
Contentment is freely submitting to and taking pleasure in God’s disposal. Submitting to God’s disposal-What is that? The word submit signifies nothing else but ‘to send under’. Thus in one who is discontented the heart will be unruly, and would even get above God so far as discontent prevails. But now comes the grace of contentment and sends it under, for to submit is to send under a thing. Now when the soul comes to see its own unruliness-Is the hand of God bringing and affliction and yet my heart is troubled and discontented- What, it says, will you be above God?Is this not God’s hand as must your will be regarded more that God’s? O under, under! get you under, O soul! Keep under! keep low! keep under God’s feet! You are under God’s feet, and keep under his feet! Keep under the authority of God, the majesty of God, the sovereignty of God, the power that God has over you!
You would think my need for exhortations such as these stem from some great affliction. Sadly, no. For me it is all about perfume, the symphony and digital cameras. My upcoming birthday prompted these thoughts. In my family, we give gifts for birthdays. There is no biblical warrant for it that I know of, but it is fun:-). I began to realize that I want things and measure things as more important that they are. Perfume, the symphony, and digital cameras are not inherently wrong. They are even good. Rather, my focusing on things that aren’t bad themselves was the deceitful and grievous sin besetting me.
I look up the Hebrew word, ” עצב “ translated “grievous” or “wicked” and find, not too surprisingly, that it has connotations with earthen vessels, idols, worship and pain.
Rather than give me reprieve, words from the next passage of scripture continued to bombard me with insights about myself-
But exhort on another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. Hebrews 3:13 (ESV)
I am thankful that the Lord has opened my eyes a little more about myself in this area. Yet I shudder to think how many more there are!
Thanks be to the Lord that though he does not reveal too much of ourselves to us at one time, he does continue to do so, and in so doing, draws us on toward more of his Holy Graciousness.
11.01.07
Children, Children everywhere, you can find them in your hair…
So it appears that I attract a multitude of reactions.
This fourth month of pregnancy has brought increased thoughtlessness, usually equaling unparalleled rudeness (ask Kari). I have cut myself shaving five times this week. I failed to come up with an appropriate costume for our costume party. I wore a crocodile visor.
I can never find anything, and have lost my laptop and cell phone (one at a time), only to realize I left them in a perfectly safe place…like my in-laws, or the floor of my closet.
It is this stage that Lauren perceives me in and labels it “pregnancy-efficiency mode.”
I continue to play mother to Michael, and have only forgotten to feed him twice. He is gradually learning the Rachel-culture: That there are differences between adults and children. That he has to eat. That he has to obey me. Or else.
Today when Sam was told he got to sit next to me in circle time he exclaimed, “YES! I have been waiting for this for WEEKS!”
When Michael asked why I didn’t like my new maternity pants I just bought yesterday (they shrunk and are not even fashionably short), I replied that they did not fit. He innocently inquired, ” Are they too big for you, or are you too big for it?”
I said nothing. How does one reply to four year olds?
Sola Scriptura
Trinity Hymn # 76
On this beautiful Reformation Day, which passes with hardly any notice, I reflect on what my devotions alone have recently mentioned about the glories of scripture. It is a topic I have been thinking on of late. I had a friend ask me to write her up “a blurb” outlining how to respond to unscriptural assertions made by those who profess to know Christ.
In yesterday’s reading, Hosea 4:6 laments, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge;” Psalm 119 drips with statements concerning David’s love for the Word of God. In Nehemiah the people stand all day listening to scripture and weeping over their sin.
Matthew Henry, in his commentary on 2 Timothy 3:10-17, asserts,
Those who would acquaint themselves with the things of God, and be assured of them, must know the holy scriptures, for these are the summary of divine revelation…
It answers all the ends of divine revelation. It instructs us in that which is true, reproves us for that which is amiss, directs us in that which is good. It is of use to all, for we all need to be instructed, corrected, and reproved:
I will write a blurb for my friend. Here it is: All things must be measured against scripture.
Do you think that is too short?
What about this (also from Henry, same section)?
O that we may love our Bibles more, and keep closer to them than ever! and then shall we find the benefit and advantage designed thereby, and shall at last attain the happiness therein promised and assured to us.
Henry’s words resound with me.
10.24.07
Pumpkins Pumpkins Everywhere
It appears to me that fall has fallen. On its face. Yesterday’s 70 degree weather was insupportable in my book. I felt hot and sticky. I felt betrayed by this most favorite of seasons. I had planned my baby’s life around it. Autumn could have afforded me a small recompense by being the one predictable in my myriad of varying variables.
Last week we attended a fantastic conference, where I learned much that I wanted to regurgitate here. Instead I got sick….my first non-pregnancy illness in several months. I still regurgitated….just not on the page.
This week I am playing mother by watching my 4 year old cousin-in-law. I begin to wonder how anyone can do it. The never ending questions I can handle. The open defiance? Not on my turf. I now understand how I was able to lure my mother into arguments when I was 4. I also understand perpetual lateness….though I am determined to never be like that.
Today’s rain is small penance. It is still 58 degrees. Anything past October that doesn’t require the cute coat I bought (referred to as my 19th century pregnancy frock by my mother) is tragedy. I don’t even crave egg nog and cider in this kind of weather. I don’t even have to turn my heater on! Tonight my husband is going to want soup when I am in a Taco salad mood. Maybe I will make taco soup. If I can even get cilantro in this ridiculous weather.
